Risk...Taken

2019 has taught me a lot. It was a very uncomfortable year in more ways than one and in certain things still is (y’all know I tell the truth). Don’t get me wrong it was AMAZING and no this is not one of those “new year, new me” post. However, it is a reflective but not of things in the past but more futuristic. From the beginning up until now; my life has been about taking risk. Lately, ever move i make is a FAITH changer. The lord and Life have been teaching me about taking risk, being ok with the parts I don’t know, can’t see, or control, and not overthinking every minute. Sounds like faith, right? See, the only thing that is risky in all of it; is not trying at all.

I would watch people around me just step out and do stuff; that I would have to have a twelve-page dissertation to complete. That may sound like a lot but its true; I had to be honest with myself and say, CHARMEKA, can and have let her thoughts overtake her to the point of not even trying. I had a BIG problem trusting the God in me, it was hard to receive this big grand life he had for me, and to me it was cool playing it safe in shallow water. Ouch! I had the “I don’t wanna be extra God”, “I don’t want everybody in my business”, or “I don’t wanna be like everybody else” syndrome.I I don’t even know of that's a thing, but it was for me (hints the reason why y’all haven’t heard from me all year). I would just settle and I’ll be the first to say that I was being completely selfish by not walking the path God laid out for me because of my own personal insecurities. I came up with a million excuses, sadly, every time I talked myself out of something, settled for less and I KNEW I was supposed to excute purpose; almost instantly, I would see someone on social media launching and dominating what God told me to do. That is the MOST disappointing feel ever! I had to really deal with the overwhelming fact that God is extra in everything he does and its ok for ME to be EXTRA in how I think, live, talk, and STOP BEING SCARED. He is such good dad, he gives GREAT gifts, and they’re never small.

This is why I call every risk I took a Faith-Changer; One risk led to my faith growing more and more. Now instead of recapping what happened in the past; My faith is creating a future that I actually can believe and receive from God, my father. It was plenty of things I believed God for, but low self-worth blocked me from getting. Why not me? Why not you? I fully understand t now that GOD DOES EVERYTHING BIG and my mind can't even comprehend how BIG he wants to do it through me and for me.

By all means, if he wants the world or your sphere of influence to see how much he loves, you by what he does through YOU; let him do it. Believe everything God says concerning you (even if you don't understand) and receive it because you deserve it! Be the Faith-changer! People will never know how dope God is if you stay LOW. So, level up, take the risk (be obedient) , and receive what comes out of it. You deserve it and THEY (whoever they are) deserves to see it. They are waiting on you.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge, and he shall direct your path.” Proverbs 3:3-5

I make NO apologies for letting you in on my SELF encouragement rant. Y’all know how we do; we have these conversations TOGETHER in hopes of helping someone else. You are never alone in this journey! I love and have missed every single one of you! Don’t worry I’m back and here to stay. I fully accept the RISK to love and live at the capacity GOD wants me too and you can too. Let’s GO!

Signed,

A Faith Changer.